I was asked to pen a blog on how to raise Christlike children from our oldest daughter which is surprising since I am often reminded of my parental shortcomings of our 3 children, ages 28, 25, and 21.  Still, here are 5 tips that helped us raise a posse of passionate lovers of Jesus.  

Grow Together. 

Being newer believers ourselves, raising godly children was new territory for us.  We made it our practice to share with the kids what we were learning ourselves.  This created an environment of teachability, authenticity and transparency in our home.  Mom and Dad made mistakes, and Jesus loves us.  We had ample opportunities to practice grace while simultaneously challenging one another to keep leaning in to Jesus and His word.  

Steward Parenting. 

Being transparent didn’t mean throwing parental authority out the window.  When disciplining our kids, I often quoted Jim Dobson, former head of Focus on the Family, “God gave you to Dad and I, and we are responsible to raise you in a way that pleases Him.” No discipline is pleasant at the time (for either side I learned), but hopefully each child knew they were loved, and that all our decisions had God’s best for them in mind.

Create Family Goals.

 Beginning with the end in mind, we developed a Family Mission Statement and posted it in our kitchen pantry. (there are GREAT examples online). We also listed family goals, like “Our family is not a yelling family; we will talk things out.” We didn’t always succeed, but the goals gave us targets to shoot for, and over time we did improve.

Keep Spiritual Growth Fresh. 

While I might sound like a structured parent (okay, I am), we really wanted our kids’ growing faith to be alive, fun, creative and unique to each one; in short, unstructured.  Church provided organized growth, and we wanted to add organic elements so we kept changing it up. One week we might read devotions together, the next we would ask over dinner how did you make someone else’s life better today.  We would create art projects from God’s creation, go on God adventures with our Small Group and memorize Scripture verses by each child taking a portion, then putting it all together and saying in different voices.  We tried lots of approaches once, and those that fit for our family became part of our traditions.

Finally

Pray.  Pray.  Pray.  Joe and I launched into parenthood with 1 verse as our overarching focus: 3 John 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth”.  That’s been our heart’s desire from day one.   At times knowing The Truth has created some pain in their life, but it has also protected and guided them well.  We prayed separately for our children, prayed together as a family, and prayed with each of them 1/1.  We prayed on the way to school in the morning and celebrated any answered prayer at dinner.  A common phrase in our home was “How can I pray for you today?”  In college, a call home would start with “Can you pray for me?” which we liked hearing better than “Can you send money?”  In hindsight, I KNOW prayer covered over a multitude of my parenting errors, reminding me to turn each child over to the One who loves them more than I could ever ask or imagine.  

In closing, we’re down the road now and it’s a joy to catch glimpses of how our parenting has played out.  Here’s some excerpts from a letter one daughter sent us shortly after leaving home for college:

 “Dear Mom and Dad, I’m writing to tell you that you two are the best parents in the world. You are encouraging and supportive of all my crazy ideas and weird hobbies.  You are silly and have created a safe space for me to be my absolute self.  You challenge me to have hard conversations, and make the big decisions, and you do so in love.  You have empowered me as a young woman to step into leadership roles for the Kingdom.  You have really encouraged me in my faith all these years, and I am so thankful for all the love, time, money and years you have invested in me. Know that you are amazing parents who have had an unbelievably positive impact on my life.  I love you!” 

Whenever I see that letter fall out of my Bible, I smile thinking this is what God has done through us.  As I finish this post, I am praying for You.  Be encouraged by ALL the good you are doing, and don’t lose heart.  God is leading you as you are leading, developing and creating your Jesus-loving family.